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The No-Nothings and Their Baby

Written by Anne Mazer

Illustrated by Ross Collins


Can you spell hilarious? 

The No-Nothings can’t. But they live by the rule, “If you can’t spell it, be it.”

The story begins when Bertram Reliable Butternut No-Nothing and his wife, Doriana Hiccup Whatsername No-Nothing (Do you like the names? They made them themselves!) are about to have their first child, Betty.

This turns out to be the smartest thing they’ve ever done in their lives. Which doesn’t say much. (Guess where they went for “Speedy Delivery” when labor started, or what their idea of diapering technique might be).

Veteran parent Anne Mazer wrote this story for all the parents, like herself, who’ve ever felt like honorary members of the No-Nothing clan. And for her kids, who find nothing funnier than affectionate parental incompetence! Newcomer Ross Collins’s artwork is like a feather on your funny bone.

And don’t worry, everything turns out okay in the end. Betty is a genius.


Reviews and Awards

Selected by Next Literary Classics

“In this silly, slapstick story, Mr. and Mrs. No-Nothing, an enthusiastic but misguided couple… have a baby - fortunately a very smart one.… Kids… will enjoy the wacky antics of the goofy parents and bewildered, ultimately resigned Betty. A witty, lively text encourages expressive read-alouds; bright, whimsical illustrations, appropriately chaotic, abound with color, action and humorous detail.” - Booklist 


Purchase Options
Amazon • Barnes & Noble


Fall 2000
Picture Book
ISBN: 0-590-68049-8
Price: $15.95/$22.99
Trim Size: 9 1/2" x 11"
Page Count: 40 SE
Foreign Rights: Scholastic
Translation Rights: Scholastic
Rights Available? yes


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